I invite you to read my new book, published in February 2026, at https://www.promoteyourstory.com.au/;
INTRODUCTION
a story of despair and heartache
Chapter 1 — No Fault Found
Have you ever opened a phone bill and felt
that sickening
lurch of certainty that there's an error? Has a friend ever insisted they called, even though you were beside the phone all day?
Or has someone commented on your supposed phone use, while potential clients complain that you never answer, even though the phone hasn't rung in days?
If so, you can begin to understand the nightmare I endured for almost a decade. Even now, years later, I'm still fighting for a fair resolution.
The story began innocently enough in late 1987, when my wife, Faye, and I bought a small accommodation business overlooking Cape Bridgewater, near Portland, on Victoria's rugged southwest coast. Called Seal Cove, it was a former school camp with a spectacular ocean view. We envisioned transforming it into a haven for social clubs, families, and schools—a place where laughter echoed across the cliffs and the phone rang constantly with eager inquiries.
We didn't know that the business depended on a telephone system fit for a museum. The exchange servicing Cape Bridgewater, installed over thirty years earlier, was designed for a sleepy, "low-call-rate" district. It had only eight lines and was unstaffed. It was never meant to serve a growing population, let alone a tourism business.
Blissfully ignorant, we sold our Melbourne home, I took early retirement to raise capital, and we threw ourselves into what we believed would be a bright new chapter.
I wasn't naïve about business. I'd worked since I was fifteen, first as a steward on English passenger-cargo ships. In 1963, I jumped ship in Melbourne and worked in some of the city's finest hotel kitchens. Two years later, at twenty, I joined the Australian Merchant Navy and spent a decade cooking on cargo ships worldwide. By 1975, I'd returned to land, married Faye, and built a career as a freelance caterer and tug-boat cook while studying hotel and motel management. I'd even rescued a failing hotel/motel.
By 1987, at forty-four, I was confident I could transform a simple school camp into a thriving, multifaceted business.
So, I hit the road, visiting almost 150 schools and shires to promote Seal Cove. In February 1988, we printed and distributed 2,000 color brochures. Then we waited for the phone to ring.
It didn't.
Not even a modest one-percent response. Nothing.
By April, the truth became undeniable. People wondered why we never answered the phone. Some suggested we get an answering machine, unaware we already had one. We even bought a new one, suspecting the machine was faulty, but the complaints persisted. Callers reported long periods of silence, calls dropping mid-conversation, and faxes disappearing without a trace.
Between April 1988 and January 1989, Telstra logged nine complaints from me, in addition to several letters. Each call to 1100 was met with the same empty promise: "We'll check the line."
On the rare occasions a technician appeared, the diagnosis was always: "No fault found."
Meanwhile, the faults persisted—unabated, unexplained, and devastating.
A story of despair and heartache:
We eventually discovered the previous owner had experienced the same problems. As I began gathering evidence for what would become a long and bitter fight, I used the Freedom of Information Act in 1988 to obtain documents. One—Telstra Confidential: Difficult Network Faults — PCM Multiplex Report, section 5.5—revealed that Telstra had known about the Cape Bridgewater faults as early as 1987.
Our neighbor Harry understood. His daughter in Colac often complained about dropped calls. Fred Fairthorn, a local figure and former owner of the Tom the Cheap grocery chain, had suffered similar issues for years. "What can you expect from Telstra when we're in the bush?" he lamented.
I expected better. We'd certainly been promised better.
We encouraged people to write rather than call, but the telephone was too ingrained in their habits; they wanted immediate answers. As bookings dwindled, I began to question everything—my research, my judgment, even the wisdom of asking Faye to sell our family home so I could pursue my dream of running my own business.
It wasn't fun—not even close. I lived in constant frustration, pacing the office like an angry Basil Fawlty, waiting for a phone that refused to ring.
We toured South Australia to promote our camp concept in the Wimmera region, but generated little interest. Was the phone to blame? And how could we know for sure? The uncertainty only added to the stress.
Sometimes the cause of our phone problems was glaringly obvious. Once, on a shopping trip to Portland, 20 kilometres away, I realised I'd left the meat order list at home. I used a public phone to call, only to hear a recorded message: "The number you have called is not connected." I tried again, with the same result. Telstra's fault centre said it would investigate, so I continued shopping, leaving the meat order until last. Finally, when I called the camp again, the line was engaged. I bought what I could remember, hoping for the best, but I wasn't surprised to learn upon returning home that the phone hadn't rung once while I was gone.
Anyone who uses a telephone has, at some point, encountered a recorded voice announcement
(RVA). One of Telstra's standard messages stated: "The number you have called is not connected or has been changed. Please check the number before calling again. You have not been charged for this call."
This incorrect message was frequently received by people trying to call our camp. While Telstra never acknowledged the issue publicly, I later discovered a revealing internal memo among a multitude of FOI documents I received in 1994. The memo explained that "this message tends to give the caller the impression that the business they are calling has ceased trading, and they should try another trader."
Another Telstra document referred to the need for
A basic review of our RVA messages and their application...I'm sure that upon closer inspection, we'll find many network situations where inappropriate RVAs are triggered.
A story of despair and heartache:
Our newly established business faced a major obstacle: the "not connected" Rural Virtual Announcement (RVA). Apparently, this message was activated whenever the limited phone lines in or out of Cape Bridgewater were congested—a frequent occurrence.
Despite internal acknowledgement of these faults, Telstra never admitted any wrongdoing in those early years. My persistent complaints were dismissed, and I was treated as a nuisance. This was rural Australia, and I was seemingly expected to accept substandard phone service, though no one at Telstra would ever admit it. Technicians and linemen consistently reported, "No fault found."
The immense frustration was compounded by uncertainty. Were our problems simply due to poor rural service and congestion on too few lines feeding an antiquated exchange? As the only accommodation business in Cape Bridgewater at the time, we were far more reliant on the phone than most. But if there was a specific fault, why couldn't they find it?
The business was failing, and so were we. By mid-1989, we were selling shares just to cover operating costs. A mere 15 months after taking over, we were liquidating assets rather than paying down the mortgage. I felt like a complete failure, and neither of us could offer the other any comfort.
Desperate, I decided to launch another marketing push in the city, throwing everything I had into it. We both went. Perhaps it was masochistic, but I used the camp's remote access to check for messages, eager to respond quickly. But all I heard was a recording: 'The number you are calling is not connected or has been changed. Please check the number before calling again. You have not been charged for this call.' On the drive home, just outside Geelong, we stopped at a phone box, and I tried again. This time, the line was engaged. Maybe someone was finally leaving a message, I thought, ever the optimist.
But there were no messages on the answering machine. And there was no point in wondering why I'd gotten an engaged signal. How many calls had we missed while we were gone? How many potential clients had given up after being told the phone was disconnected? Anger and frustration bubbled just below the surface.
Near the end of October 1989, my twenty-year marriage ended. Already on medication for stress, I added a generous amount of Scotch that afternoon and retreated to a cabin. Understandably concerned, Faye called the local police, who broke down the cabin door to "save" me. They took me to the hospital, and I remain grateful to the doctors who confirmed I wasn't losing my mind and sent me home the next day. My friends Margaret and Jack from Melbourne arranged for Margaret to come stay with me and "bail me out." Little did we know, the real chaos was just beginning.
Returning to camp with Margaret, we were met with disaster. Faye had left the night before, acting on advice to relocate to a "safe house." Doors were unlocked, meat from the freezer was thawing on the counters, and various items had mysteriously vanished. To top it off, the camp diary revealed that 70 students from Monivae Catholic College in Hamilton were due to arrive in 2 days for a 5-day stay. I would have been ruined without Margaret's help.
Still reeling from the end of my marriage, the thought of shopping felt insurmountable. How would I feed seventy students plus staff? By the time I had figured out the order, it was Sunday evening, and the Monivae group was due to arrive the next day. Then, to make matters worse, the hot water service broke down!
The staff were not happy about the prospect of cold showers, to say the least. Despite this inauspicious start, Monivae College returned two or three times a year for the next five years. Their support throughout that difficult period helped me keep the business afloat.
I'm also deeply grateful for Margaret's support. She carried so much that first week, and, aware that I was barely holding on, she suggested that Brother Greg, one of the Monivae teachers, come to the house to talk. It was an inspired suggestion, and we—Margaret, too—talked well into the night, working through many things, from early childhood experiences to the end of my twenty-year marriage.
In the weeks that followed, my phone problems continued unabated. I began keeping a log of phone faults in an exercise book, recording all complaints, along with names, contact details, and notes on the effects of the failed calls on both the business and me.
One day, the phone extension in the kiosk was dead. The coin-operated phone in the dining room, which was on a separate line, had a normal dial tone, so I dialled my office number, only to hear the dreaded:
"The number you have called is not connected or has been changed. Please check the number before calling again. Please check the number before calling again. You have not been charged for this call."
Except, I was charged for the call because the phone didn't return my coins. Five minutes later, I tried again. This time, the office phone appeared engaged (it wasn't), and the gold phone spat out my coins.
I used this testing routine frequently over the next few months and reported every fault to Telstra. The situation was beginning to wear me down. Why was this still happening after so many complaints? Could Telstra really be this incompetent, or was something more sinister at play? Had I become too much of a nuisance? But that was ridiculous. Under the circumstances, I had behaved impeccably—politely, even—when in fact I sometimes had violent fantasies.
A story of despair and heartache.
No longer one half of a husband-and-wife team by 1990, I began depleting my meager financial reserves to pay staff, teetering on the brink of losing everything. I was experiencing what finance professionals call a "consequential resultant loss"—Faye's unpaid labour was gone, and I now had to pay her annual dividends on her financial investment.
The future appeared bleak. Telstra's persistent "No fault found" response to the ongoing phone issues was infuriating, and they made no real attempt to fix them. I constantly worried about losing customers because of unreliable phone access. Legal troubles were also mounting. I had fallen behind on payments to Faye, and her solicitor aggressively demanded funds. Already struggling with my own legal expenses, I couldn't afford further financial burdens. Overdue school fees added to the pressure. To reduce some of the debt, I sold the 22-seater school bus, which had been used to transport customers, and replaced it with a small utility vehicle.
Amidst these challenges, a positive development emerged: I met Karen, a woman from Warrnambool. Our relationship quickly deepened, and when she learned I was about to close the business because I couldn't afford to pay Faye, she mortgaged her house to secure a loan, giving me a two-year reprieve. Karen believed in me and in the Camp's potential. She wanted to become a partner. This was early in 1991.
With the promise of a new exchange being installed at Cape Bridgewater later that year to resolve the congested phone lines, things finally seemed to be improving. All that was left to do was wait. Karen moved in, and together we channelled our renewed energy into revitalising the business.
In August, I received welcome confirmation from someone within Telstra that my phone problems were indeed real. The relief of finally having the faults acknowledged was immense. I asked for my new ally's name, but in my excitement, I barely noticed his reluctance; he only said he worked at the fault centre in Hamilton. No names.
Telstra's internal file note reflected this acknowledgement:
Alan Smith called on 15 August 1991 regarding service 267 267. Callers were receiving an engaged signal when the line was not
in use. This was an ongoing problem that resulted in significant business losses.
I told him that the fault history indicated the issue stemmed from the exchange, and the upcoming RCM exchange on August 21 should resolve it. However, I would confirm this with the
technicians. Additionally, we would examine the service immediately to try and restore functionality until the cutover.
A story of despair and heartache:
Eventually, a Telstra employee offered a glimmer of hope. Karen sold her house and used some of the proceeds to cover my legal fees and the debt to Faye. With the settlement to Faye complete, Karen's name was officially added to the business title, and we eagerly awaited the installation of the new exchange, counting down the days.
However, the triumph of the new exchange in late August 1991 proved short-lived and inconsequential. The telephone problems persisted, now compounded by the crushing disappointment that the issue remained unresolved. More customers reported hearing recorded voice announcements, and I continued to complain to Telstra about the worsening faults. When I asked the technicians what could be causing the problems if the new exchange hadn't fixed them, their response was unbelievable: "No fault found." They simply refused to address my question. I was also frustrated by the lack of contact with the one person who had previously acknowledged the faults (a file note I didn't see confirming this until 1995).
New bookings remained scarce. The camp needed painting and upgrades; its run-down and uninviting appearance deterred potential customers. Even after securing a booking, cash flow remained a constant struggle, making it difficult to afford groceries. We always managed, but the stress was immense. Karen began to fear her investment was being wasted, and the pressure reached a breaking point while we were organising a charity camp for underprivileged children.
Despite the business's precarious financial state, I had always sponsored stays for underprivileged groups. It didn't actually cost me much, as the food was donated by various businesses, leaving only a small expense for electricity and gas.
In May 1992, we hosted a charity week for children from Ballarat and South West Victoria, organised primarily by Sister Maureen Burke IBVM, Principal of Loreto College in Ballarat. Coordinating food, transportation, and the children's special needs required extensive phone communication, and Sister Burke struggled immensely to get through. Calls either rang unanswered or resulted in dead ends. After a week of fruitless attempts, she drove the 3½ hours to finalise the arrangements in person.
As Karen arrived at the camp, she received an angry call from a man demanding information about a singles weekend we were organising. The abusive caller was furious that we advertised the business but rarely answered the phone. Already stressed, Karen burst into tears, and I couldn't console her. When Sister Burke entered the office, I left, hoping my absence would help. Later, Sister Burke suggested Karen leave Cape Bridgewater. I felt numb, as if history was repeating itself.
A story of despair and heartache.
Unlike my separation from Faye, Karen and I thoroughly discussed our situation. Although we were separating, I assured her that her generosity would not leave her in financial straits. I promised to buy out her share of the camp, a resolution that relieved us both. Karen rented a house in Portland, and we remained good friends. However, without her daily help at the camp, which had allowed me to travel, I had to discontinue my promotional tours.
Later, I sent Sister Burke an early draft of this book. She replied, "Only I know from personal experience that your story is true. I would find it difficult to believe."
